Friday, October 20, 2017


I've seen a lot of negativity lately, and it's saddening to see. The bickering, the backstabbing, the horrible words. The news stories that seem to never stop. The facebook posts. The twitter tweets. The blog posts. They are never ending.
I've even had a hand in it, not realizing until my husband said something to me that I had begun to become hateful with my own words. I was angry in the beginning. How dare he question my right to share my opinion with him. He's my husband, my best friend, and confidant. He has to listen.
And then I realized I wasn't sharing. I was bullying. No one might have been able to hear except my husband and myself, but the words had been spoken. I was doing the exact same thing I was so angry that someone else was doing.
Shame on me.
What right do I have to verbalize my disgust at what someone else does, when I do it in the same manner I was so disgusted with? I shouted and snarled, standing on my high horse as I complained about "How dare they..."
Shame on me.
My heart is heavy as I flicker past facebook posts that sadden me or anger me, pretending they don't exist if I don't read them. I'm safe in my bubble.
Shame on me.
I see the news stories of hatred and sorrow. I feel sadness for those who have felt loss and those who are angry, but then I change the channel to something else, something not so sad.
Shame on me.
I tell myself I've done my part. I've brought my children up right. I've taught them love and acceptance. I've written about love and acceptance in every book I've published. I've donated money and books. I've written letters. I've signed petitions. I've done what I could. I've done enough.
Shame on me.
Enough will never be enough until I take responsibility for myself. So, today, I do just that. I apologize to those I may have offended by speaking my mind and those I offended by keeping my thoughts to myself. I apologize for finding fault in your words, and using those same words to hold you responsible. I apologize for insisting my way is the right way, without being willing to listen to your way. I apologize for looking the other way.
I can't promise to be perfect. No one is. But I can promise to try. I will listen better. I will be willing to accept that my opinion is not the only one out there. I will accept that my opinion might not be right. I will not use harsh words. I will not use hateful words. I will not use words intended to hurt. I will use words that open good and honest dialogue of our differences and opposing opinions. And I will be understanding if we never find common ground.
I accept the things that I have the ability to change, and that's me and only me, and if I start with me, I can change the world.


the jo said...

Well, I don't think I have ever taken exception to anything you have posted.....but, I am just as guilty of thinkin that I have done all I can and that I am a better person cause I don't chat politics, religion or anything like that on my FB or Twitter walls.... your column made me realize that in order for change I first need to change me.

Lyrics from The Man in The Mirror state it so well:

"I’m starting with the man in the mirror
I’m asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
(If you wanna make the world a better place)
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change
(Take a look at yourself, and then make a change)"

Lyrics by Michael Jackson

Thanks Stormy for sharing and for making me take that 2nd look in the mirror.


Dan's Wife said...

This is why I don't get on social media - No facebook or twitter. I used to daily read a mm romance blog but I gave that up, too. Posts were too judgmental, shooting the messenger. If your view is not in line with theirs they let you know. Then you don't feel welcome.

The only news I watch is local and mainly for the weather reports. I'm aware of what's going on in the world but for my own peace of mind I distance myself. I prefer reading to movies or TV so what I pick to read some may call 'light' or 'fluff'. And there goes that judgement again! I like to escape in my reading.

Anyway, I wanted to share what I do to cope. I focus on my little bit of the world where I live, my dogs, interacting with my neighbors, my family in distant places, and losing myself in a story. - Dan's Wife (As I post on my reviews on Amazon) *grin*